{"id":13569,"date":"2020-03-10T23:24:40","date_gmt":"2020-03-10T10:24:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/nzsda.org.nz\/?p=13569"},"modified":"2020-03-10T23:24:40","modified_gmt":"2020-03-10T10:24:40","slug":"a-guide-to-helping-your-mates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/nzsda.org.nz\/index.php\/2020\/03\/10\/a-guide-to-helping-your-mates\/","title":{"rendered":"A Guide to Helping Your Mates"},"content":{"rendered":"

Got a mate who\u2019s looking down, isn\u2019t themselves, maybe gone a bit quiet? Want to help but aren\u2019t sure how?
\nA new pocket guide about how to have conversations about mental health has great advice on looking after friends and colleagues.
\nAnd it\u2019s easy to lend an ear, listen, and have a conversation with someone, says Paul Lynch, a guy who knows what it\u2019s like to do it tough.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\u00a9 Copyright Image: Marc Shannon<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The Christchurch carpet and vinyl installer lost his brother Brett to suicide in 2013. It took him a while to shake off resulting anger and darkness that he felt, but he did, and he wrote the book Suicide; Aftermath & Beyond about it. He has made it his mission to help people in the trades talk about things that are getting them down, and he says the new guide is a top tool to do this.
\nPaul says people don\u2019t have to be a counsellor or a therapist to help, they just have to take time to listen.
\n\u201cIn my experience in about 99 times out of a hundred, all that\u2019s required is a conversation. It\u2019s that simple act of letting people talk or share something they might be going through.
\n\u201cJust listen, let them speak, and validate what they\u2019re saying. It doesn\u2019t have to be a crisis intervention.\u201d (Though there are emergency numbers provided in the pocket guide if the situation requires higher intervention.)
\n\u201cI know myself, once you\u2019ve unburdened yourself of something that\u2019s been troubling you, a lot of the pressure goes away with the words.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>The free pocket guide has been created by Dr Kate Bryson of Axon Consulting, one of the key researchers who worked on Site Safe\u2019s study into suicide in the construction sector last year, in consultation with industry people.
\nSite Safe is pleased to be able to offer the guide in conjunction with Construction Health and Safety NZ (CHASNZ), the Mental Health Foundation and Mates in Construction.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

The key messages in it are:
\n\u2022 Be Approachable \u2013 don\u2019t judge and don\u2019t try to have all the answers.
\n\u2022 Be Empathetic \u2013 try and put yourself in their shoes. Or boots.
\n\u2022 Be willing to listen \u2013 give them your full attention and let them know it is confidential between you and them.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Auckland electrical contractor Dave Burt uses a question to break the ice with people that is one of the suggested phrases in the guide: \u201cWhat\u2019s happening in your world?\u201d
\nIt\u2019s an open-ended question he came up with after dealing with depression himself. (It\u2019s detailed in his book Lengthening the Shadows which is available here<\/a>. It can be a dark topic but the book is a moving, funny account about a guy who carried on too long struggling on by himself.)
\nOne of the three winners of the Kalmar Mental Health and Wellbeing Award last year, along with Paul Lynch and the team from The Switched On Group, Dave put money from his book towards the pocket guide and he says it is full of good advice.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
\u00a9 Copyright Image: Marc Shannon<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The team from Switched On Group with the Kalmar Mental Health and Wellbeing Award last year. From left, Camille Hughes, Sue Hughes, Shelley Hughes and Kristal McGill.<\/p>\n

Kristal McGill from The Switched On Group also says the pocket guide is a top resource and they will use it as the firm rolls out a its own initiatives this year.
\nCurrently it is focusing on how alcohol can affect people at work and home and how to reach out to services if they, or someone close, may be struggling with addiction issues.
\nThe company is also about to run work groups with managers and supervisors to help them spot people who are distressed \u2013 including how to keep an eye on themselves \u2013 and is giving them the resources to help support their people.
\n\u201cThis will build on training provided during 2019 and will take all people leaders through our best-practice approach, our resources and our support for both the manager and individuals involved,\u201d Kristal says.\u201d
\nPaul Lynch says one of the issues people worry about in dealing with mental health is that they don\u2019t feel they\u2019re qualified to help.
\n\u201cThe truth is you don\u2019t need to know anything about it, you just need to be a decent enough person to allow somebody to speak and to get whatever\u2019s on their mind, off their mind.\u201d
\nHe says that\u2019s where the pocket guide helps.
\n\u201cI\u2019ve always said, it\u2019s not like we don\u2019t care or want to check up on our mates, it\u2019s just we often don\u2019t know how to. We need to change that.\u201d
\nDave Burt agrees. And he says helping someone is actually pretty easy.
\n\u201cYou may not be aware; but every one of us possesses a very powerful gift. You may not know that you have this gift, but trust me on this, you do \u2013 it is the power to give and provide hope.
\n\u201cHaving experienced depression, I can tell you hope is something I will never take for granted again. For those dealing with a mental health issue, hope is all powerful.
\n\u201cThink of someone in your life who means a lot to you; be it a family member, colleague or maybe a mate,\u201d Dave Burt says.
\n\u201cTake the time to connect and ask them what is going on in their world. You might just be surprised by what you hear, and what a difference you can make in someone else\u2019s life.\u201d
\nThe guide is free for download or ordering here:\u00a0Mental Health Pocket Guide<\/a><\/p>\n

This press release was prepared for Site Safe by Bill O\u2019Byrne.<\/p>\n

Email: bobyrne@sitesafe.org.nz Ph 027 357 6602<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Got a mate who\u2019s looking down, isn\u2019t themselves, maybe gone a bit quiet? Want to help but aren\u2019t sure how? A new pocket guide about how to have conversations about mental health has great advice on looking after friends and colleagues. And it\u2019s easy to lend an ear, listen, and have a conversation with someone, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":13460,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13569","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-industry-updates"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/nzsda.org.nz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13569","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/nzsda.org.nz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/nzsda.org.nz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nzsda.org.nz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nzsda.org.nz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13569"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/nzsda.org.nz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13569\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nzsda.org.nz\/index.php\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/nzsda.org.nz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13569"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nzsda.org.nz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13569"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/nzsda.org.nz\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13569"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}